|
Frank Feldman joke ...................................................
Passenger: "I called a taxi just going by and got into the taxi, and the cabbie said:" "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." -- Who? : "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." : "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific THELATE. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy." Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special." : "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street BCLAKS out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right." Passenger: "Wow, some guy then." : "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never ....... even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always MUCIMALATE, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman." Passenger: "An amazing LEWFOL. How did you meet him?" : "Well, I never actually did meet Frank. . . . I'm married to his bleepin' widow." Who was Frank Feldman? |
Why a bicycle cann't stand on its own? Because it is too tyred.
Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this'.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months? -- The box said 2-4 years!
I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Did you hear about the carrot that died. -- There was a large turnip at the funeral.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? -- A fsh
Where do you get virgin wool? -- Ugly sheep.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through something so small?
What kind of horses go out after dusk? -- Nightmares!
How did the egg cross the road? -- It scrambled across!
How do crows stick together in a flock? -- Velcrow.
Why did the little bird get in trouble at school? -- He got caught peeping on a test.
Why do hummingbirds hum? -- Because they don’t know the words.
Why did the rooster cross the road? -- To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again? -- He was a dirty double crosser!
What do you give a sick bird? -- Tweetment.
Why does a stork stand on one leg? -- Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
Butterflies are dopes, they eat bars of soap. Bubbles here, bubbles there, bubbles up their underwear.
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? The outside.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this'.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months? -- The box said 2-4 years!
I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Did you hear about the carrot that died. -- There was a large turnip at the funeral.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? -- A fsh
Where do you get virgin wool? -- Ugly sheep.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through something so small?
What kind of horses go out after dusk? -- Nightmares!
How did the egg cross the road? -- It scrambled across!
How do crows stick together in a flock? -- Velcrow.
Why did the little bird get in trouble at school? -- He got caught peeping on a test.
Why do hummingbirds hum? -- Because they don’t know the words.
Why did the rooster cross the road? -- To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again? -- He was a dirty double crosser!
What do you give a sick bird? -- Tweetment.
Why does a stork stand on one leg? -- Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
Butterflies are dopes, they eat bars of soap. Bubbles here, bubbles there, bubbles up their underwear.
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? The outside.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
At the end of carrot field
...smell of chicken ...can't you feel it?
once there was achicken farm at the end of carrot field
where i used to have a job: checking chicken conveyor
well I don't work there any more I don't see chickens any more
I ey came there once accidentally
the chickens did not lay their eggs
since they all contracted AIDS
AIDS AIDS they had AIDS
nasty chickens naughty AIDS
AIDS AIDS they had AIDS
naughty chickens nasty AIDS
I called for a chicken doctor he examined chickens properly
then he gave a compliment: I was the chickens saviour
And so they let me work there again
checking chicks watching belt in chicken farm
Where is the chicken farm ?
What was my job ?
What disease did the chickens get ?
What compliment did I get ?
...smell of chicken ...can't you feel it?
once there was achicken farm at the end of carrot field
where i used to have a job: checking chicken conveyor
well I don't work there any more I don't see chickens any more
I ey came there once accidentally
the chickens did not lay their eggs
since they all contracted AIDS
AIDS AIDS they had AIDS
nasty chickens naughty AIDS
AIDS AIDS they had AIDS
naughty chickens nasty AIDS
I called for a chicken doctor he examined chickens properly
then he gave a compliment: I was the chickens saviour
And so they let me work there again
checking chicks watching belt in chicken farm
Where is the chicken farm ?
What was my job ?
What disease did the chickens get ?
What compliment did I get ?